Not What I've Been Through, But Who I Became

At some point, we realize that what happened to us doesn’t have to be where the story ends — it can be where our power begins. For many of us, life hasn’t been soft. Some of us have grown up too fast, learned too young what heartbreak feels like, or carried burdens we didn’t ask for. I know what it’s like to feel defined by the weight of those experiences — to wear them like a second skin. But I also know the power in deciding they won’t be the end of your story.

The truth is, yes, hardships can shape us — but they don’t have to define us. We don’t have to be permanent victims of our circumstances. What if, instead, we viewed those hardships as the very things that make us qualified to lead others out of their own storms? What if the healing you fight for now becomes the light someone else looks to later?

I’m not saying it’s easy. I would never tell you to just “move on” or “get over it.” Healing is not a straight line — it loops and dips, sometimes moving in slow motion. Feeling your emotions, acknowledging your pain, letting yourself cry or sit in stillness — that is healing too. It’s necessary. It’s human.

But the transformation happens when you realize your story holds power. Your past doesn’t have to be a prison; it can be a platform. I’ve learned that even the most broken parts of us can bloom — that pain can turn into flowers if we let it. Like Tupac said, "The rose that grew from concrete." That rose doesn’t deny the cracks it came from — it just chose to bloom anyway.

The world will try to harden you. Trauma often tries to convince us that being cold is the only way to stay safe. But what if softness was your superpower? What if forgiving — not for them, but for you — was the very thing that unlocked your next chapter? There is bravery in choosing light after living in darkness. There is strength in choosing to keep your heart open, to keep showing up, to keep blooming.

You are not weak for feeling. You are not behind for still healing. You are not your trauma.
You are who you become because of it — and the fact that you’re still here, still trying, still rising?

That’s the beginning of your victory story.

Photo by Shali Jeni on Unsplash